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Love Languages Assessment relationship-building exercise

Love languages are the ways people show and receive love. Knowing which love languages are most important to a person can help couples better understand their relationship values and express wants and needs more effectively.

The Love Languages Assessment asks clients to rate the importance of each love language, using a scale from 1 to 5. Then, for each love language, they are asked to give examples of what they most appreciate receiving.

Working with love languages in therapy can strengthen communication and bonding between partners. In couples therapy, ask both partners to complete the assessment and compare their answers. You may ask them to rank their love languages in order of importance and compare results, discuss the favorite examples they have in common, or share anything new they learned about their partner.

Be mindful that love languages are not diagnostic and are not a scientifically-validated model for relationships. However, love languages resonate with many people, and provide a helpful way for couples to discuss their wants and needs.

Try pairing this activity with our Love Languages info sheet:

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A PDF file thatʼs great for printing, but locked and not modifiable.
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Copyright and Allowed Usage

References

1. Bland, A. M., & McQueen, K. S. (2018). The distribution of Chapman’s love languages in couples: An exploratory cluster analysis. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 7(2), 103.

2. Egbert, N., & Polk, D. (2006). Speaking the language of relational maintenance: A validity test of Chapman's Five Love Languages. Communication Research Reports, 23(1), 19-26.

3. Surijah, E. A., & Septiarly, Y. L. (2016). Construct validation of five love languages. Anima Indonesian Psychological Journal, 31(2), 65-76.

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