Romantic relationships require ongoing effort to stay healthy. Research shows that couples who use certain maintenance strategies have stronger intimacy and commitment (Stafford & Canary, 1991). The more frequently these maintenance behaviors are used, the more effective they tend to be.
The Relationship Maintenance worksheet introduces five maintenance behaviors that are strongly associated with successful romantic relationships:
- Positivity
- Openness
- Assurances
- Task-sharing
- Social network
The worksheet offers straightforward explanations of these behaviors and examples of how they look in practice.
Note that the link between these behaviors and successful relationship outcomes is correlational rather than causative. In other words, research does not support simply prescribing these behaviors to guarantee a better relationship.
Given this, we recommend presenting the maintenance behaviors as qualities found in many healthy romantic relationships. Clients can then reflect on whether and how often they practice these behaviors, giving them deeper insights into their relationships. Below are some questions you may want to draw from:
- Positivity: Are you usually optimistic and positive in daily interactions with your partner? If not, what makes that hard? How do you compliment your partner or interact in a playful way?
- Openness: What level of openness or honesty do you strive for in your relationship? Is it essential that each of you be 100% open with your thoughts and feelings? Why or why not?
- Assurances: How do you and your partner communicate your commitment to the relationship? In what ways do you plan a future together?
- Task-Sharing: How do you agree on responsibilities in your relationship? How do you support one another through major challenges?
- Social Network: What kinds of activities do you and your partner enjoy with family members or mutual friends? In times of struggle, who can you turn to for advice or support?
Use this resource with clients interested in improving their romantic relationships or learning about qualities associated with successful relationships. Be aware that clients may interpret or value these behaviors differently based on their cultural background. Encourage clients to share their cultural perspective and how this shapes their view of these behaviors.
