Relaxation skills are excellent tools for the treatment of stress, anxiety, and anger. In addition to being easy to use, relaxation techniques are some of the few tools that offer an immediate sense of relief from the symptoms of mental illness.

Over time, therapists develop their own scripts, tips, and tricks for teaching relaxation skills more effectively. In this guide, we share some of the knowledge that we’ve built from a combination of on-the-job experience and a review of scientific research. We’ve also put together some helpful relaxation audio clips, worksheets, scripts, and other tools, which you’ll find below.

Introducing Relaxation Techniques

Without basic knowledge of the stress response, relaxation skills lack context. They seem like tricks that feel good, but don’t serve a broader purpose. For this reason, psychoeducation about the acute stress response (“the fight-or-flight response”), and your client’s unique needs, is an excellent place to begin.

The Stress Response / Fight-Or-Flight

The fight-or-flight response is a reaction to perceived danger, whether that danger is real or not. It’s important to note that “danger” does not only apply to physical threats, but also threats to emotional well-being. For example, the fear of embarrassment could trigger the fight-or-flight response prior to giving a speech.

The fight-or-flight response prepares your body to confront (“fight”) or flee (“flight”) a threat by triggering several physiological changes, or symptoms.

Although the symptoms of the fight-or-flight response are an important part of protecting us from danger, they can cause problems when they’re too extreme, or when they occur in the wrong situation. Many stressors—such as exams, presentations, or an argument with a partner—are easily made worse by a strong fight-or-flight response.

The Relaxation Response

In opposition to the fight-or-flight response is the relaxation response. As you might imagine, the relaxation response puts your body at rest, and counteracts many symptoms of the fight-or-flight response. Relaxation techniques are used to trigger this response.

Technically, the fight-or-flight and relaxation responses are not exact opposites. Some of their symptoms are unrelated, or even complementary with one another. However, in the case of relaxation versus anxiety, we can safely focus on the symptoms that are in opposition.

When Should Relaxation Skills Be Used?

After discussing the stress and relaxation responses, your client should learn how these concepts apply to their specific situation. Are they experiencing anger, anxiety, stress, or fear? What symptoms do they experience when these emotions arise?

The more insight your client has developed about their symptoms, the better. Without the ability to recognize triggers and warning signs, you may find that they have difficulty remembering to use their relaxation skills until it’s too late.

Triggers and warning signs naturally lead into a discussion of when, specifically, relaxation skills should be used. Does your client feel nervous in the mornings before school, or maybe right before giving a presentation at work? Do they feel a steady level of stress all day? Not only will this conversation help your client learn when to use their skills, it will help you determine what skills are a good fit.

Practicing Relaxation Skills

Therapy sessions provide the perfect opportunity to teach new relaxation skills, but a few minutes of practice each week is not enough to see real benefits. We suggest that clients practice not just once in session, but regularly over the course of many sessions. Additionally, collaborate with your client to create a plan for them to practice every day at home.

Be sure to provide your client with the tools they need to practice effectively at home. This could be a script for progressive muscle relaxation, a deep breathing video, or a copy of audio exercises that they can listen to at any time.

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing (also known as diaphragmatic breathing, belly breathing, or abdominal breathing) is one of the most versatile and easy-to-use relaxation skills. Additionally, the discreet nature of deep breathing makes it a good choice for many situations.

Why Deep Breathing Works

The fight-or-flight response triggers symptoms throughout the body, including rapid and shallow breathing. Deep breathing works by deliberately taking slow and deep breaths, which reverses this symptom, and triggers a relaxation response.

When taking deep breaths, our bodies are better able to exchange carbon dioxide for oxygen, which results in a slower heart rate, lower blood pressure, and, consequently, a feeling of relaxation.

In addition to altering the body’s flow of oxygen, deep breathing acts as a form of distraction from the source of negative emotions. It’s similar to the old idea of “counting to 10”, with other helpful benefits thrown in.

Deep Breathing Tips

Naturally, many people take fast and shallow breaths. It’s easy to fall back into that habit, even in the middle of deep breathing practice. Stress the importance of timing every inhalation and exhalation. Try watching the second hand of a clock or listening to an audio relaxation tool if you have difficulty timing yourself.

Although deep breathing is often used to counter the fight-or-flight response in the moment, it should also be practiced during periods of relaxation. The positive effects of deep breathing can generalize, and reduce anxiety even hours later. Additionally, frequent practice will help you become better at the skill for when you really need it.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) requires a greater time investment than deep breathing, and it’s a bit less discreet, but its effects can be very powerful. During PMR, you will tense and then relax small groups of muscles in your body, one-by-one. This process will teach you to recognize what tension feels like, and practice releasing that tension from your muscles.

Why Progressive Muscle Relaxation Works

During the fight-or-flight response your muscles will unconsciously become tense. If you make a point to pay attention, you feel this change all throughout your body. With enough time, this tension can cause muscle pain and soreness.

PMR works by increasing awareness of the tension that occurs during stress, and then consciously releasing that tension. This process creates a feeling of relaxation—both physically and emotionally.

Regular practice of PMR will create a lasting feeling of relaxation that extends beyond the 5-10 minutes it takes to complete the exercise. PMR is a bit more complicated than some other relaxation techniques, and it’s suggested that you use an audio or video aid if you are practicing alone.

Visualization / Guided Imagery

Visualization uses the power of the mind to evoke positive emotions. It works, quite simply, by imagining a relaxing scene in great detail. Maybe it sounds silly, or too simple, but trust us: it works.

Why Visualization Works

Here’s something you can try now: Think of your favorite food. Really think about it. Close your eyes, and imagine it’s sitting on the table in front of you. Imagine how its smell, texture, and taste. Don’t just think about it for a few seconds and move on. Imagine the food as if it’s real.

If you were at least a little bit hungry, you probably just became hungrier. Maybe your mouth is even watering. This example shows us the direct connection between our thoughts and our bodies. Visualization takes advantage of this same phenomenon to influence our emotional state.

Mindfulness Meditation

Jon Kabat-Zinn—a leader in the field of mindfulness and health—has defined mindfulness as "paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally." This means consciously paying attention to our senses and our feelings, without further judgement.

Mindfulness meditation is one exercise of many based upon the idea of mindfulness. In mindfulness meditation, you will focus on the present moment by turning your attention toward the cycle of breathing, and all the sensations that come with it.

This wraps up our overview of relaxation techniques. Below, we’ve linked several resources below that didn’t fit into any of the previous sections. Good luck!